-4.jpg)
Behind the Dreamers
We are talking to the achievers, the creators, the magic makers, and the dreamers. These are our friends. These are your friends. And they are living the extraordinary.
Behind the Dreamers
Nurturing a Healthier Generation: Stephanie Sterling's Innovative Approach
Get ready to be inspired by an amazing conversation with Stephanie Sterling - an entrepreneur who's made waves in the world of children's fitness and author of the impactful book, "Fatherless Success." Join us as we explore Stephanie's journey from a children's fitness instructor to a passionate advocate against childhood obesity with her innovative mobile fitness program. Learn how her South Carolina roots and ambitious plans to scale her initiatives are contributing to a healthier future for children, one family at a time.
Stephanie's story takes a poignant turn as she opens up about her experience of growing up without a father. She shares her journey of healing, the importance of forgiveness and offers encouragement to others to take control of their lives. Stephanie's resilience and determination are awe-inspiring, and her unique perspective that success is individual to each person is a powerful message that resonates.
In the final part of our conversation, Stephanie reveals insights into her life as an entrepreneur. Post knee surgery, she learned valuable lessons of acceptance, grace, and patience, which she believes are crucial in life and business. She shares practical strategies for networking and building meaningful relationships, empowering you with tools to succeed in your entrepreneurial journey. As Stephanie rightly says, operate in your desired space, not from your pocket, and the right people will want to work with you. Tune in now - this is one conversation you won't want to miss!
These are our friends These are your friends. AND they are living the extraordinary.
For a transcript of this episode, go to www.behindthedreamers.com.
Welcome to another episode of Behind the Dreamers. I'm Jennifer Loading and we are talking to the achievers, the creators, the magic makers and the dreamers. These are our friends, these are your friends and they are living the extraordinary. So I am so excited about my guest today. This is so much fun. She says she was born to become a successful entrepreneur.
Speaker 1:Growing up in Greenville, south Carolina, she says she developed a deep love for people, whether giving advice, listening, volunteering her time to her community or just being there for loved ones. She was the founder of Confusion, a mobile kids fitness program designed for children to help them overcome obesity and other weight related issues. She said her goal was to combat childhood obesity, so in turn, that would defeat adult obesity. I love it. The plan and vision were to start locally, with those that she could immediately help, and then eventually scale her initiatives to a much larger, changing the lives of children, one family at a time. And so what did she do? She volunteered her time in the community by working with nonprofit organizations. She says being a fitness instructor for kids was just the beginning of her journey, and so we're going to welcome her on in just a few minutes, but I do want to do a quick shout out to our sponsor.
Speaker 1:So today's episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Photography. If you are a creator needing post-production consultation or promotion, walt Mills is your guy. Whether short films, youtube films, photography work or a new headshot, walt can help you find a solution to match your needs. To learn more about Walt and his work, you're going to want to go to photosbywaltcom. All right, I'm so excited to give a guest on here today, stephanie Sterling. She's a speaker and entrepreneur and she's the author of Father excuse me, fatherless success. She continues to build her legacy through her brand and her story inspires others. She continues to mentor and says she looks forward to being a support system and showing others that they are not alone in healing and overcoming adversity. So welcome to the show, stephanie. We're so excited to have you here today.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you, I'm honored to be here.
Speaker 1:It's so fun. So, just so you know, when you sent your bio over to me, you have done so many like neat things. I love all the community work that you've done, and so I was like, oh my gosh, I got to kind of try to pick up the highlights here, so I don't tell your whole story in the intro. So that's why you saw an abbreviated version of everything.
Speaker 2:Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1:You get it Okay, so tell us a little bit about who Stephanie is. What are you doing right now?
Speaker 2:So the first thing is actually, last night I was at the inspiring women's award gala because I was nominated for an entrepreneurship award, so just thank you to Mary M J Harper for with pay it forward projects. It was me, along with 15 other women, who received various awards last night. Beautiful event, and so I'm just honored to have been a part of that. Right now, my focus is doing my book signings, getting more exposure to my book. I just landed my second deal with a nonprofit. One of the initiatives I'm pushing with my book is being able to partner with nonprofits that align with my book, and basically what we do is they basically help me get exposure to my book. I set up a web page, I set up a flyer or QR code all of that. They get to pick the terms if they want to do it for a month, if they want to do it for five months, and then at the end of that period, 50% of the proceeds from my book goes back to that nonprofit, and so I'm excited to partner with my second one, the fatherless generation foundation. I'm Dr Tori. She's amazing, of course. Her organization aligns perfect with the fatherlessness and her organization helps pretty much children who have never met their father. They pretty much help unite those children with their fathers, and so I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2:I have a ladies affair, which is a networking event that I've been doing predominantly for women for about a year and a half now, and I do that the second Friday of every month is hosted at Business Lounge, dallas, and I love this because it's purpose driven and I created this space for women to be able to come and connect, build and grow and also be able to build a sisterhood outside of those four walls, and so it's really theme and purpose driven. Next month, we're going to be focusing on business financial literacy. That would be held Friday, august 11, from 630 to 830. And what I do is have speakers that align with the theme come and speak. I have women have opportunities to be vendors and then just a space where we can not only connect and support each other but also have great tools and resources to carry with us as well Once we leave the event. So I'm passionate about that.
Speaker 2:I always, always, will have a passion for the youth. So I'm a mentor with big brothers, big sisters, and I do, you know, volunteer work throughout the community. I recently was in leadership ISD cohort, which focuses on public education and the racial inequities. That was very amazing, because now I have more tools to be able to advocate for my community right For those who may not have a voice or for those who just don't know, because you know some things if you're not aware of it, if you're not in that circle, you know as a single parent, they don't have time to be up on everything, and so just me equipping myself with those tools so I can be an advocate for those families is amazing.
Speaker 1:Okay, stephanie, so you've got a lot of exciting things going on and, like I mentioned early on, when I read your bio, I had to like pull all the most important things, and so thank you for sharing everything that you have going on. But I would like to know a little bit about the inspiration, like what led to this, because you mentioned, or I mentioned in your bio and you when you sent this to me at the beginning, about how you were, like, destined to be this entrepreneur. So there had to be, you know, some kind of inspiration. Did you grow up in an entrepreneurship family or did you just always sort of have this little bit of something in you that you said, hey, I want to create, manifest something and help other people.
Speaker 2:So for me no, I didn't grow up in entrepreneurship background. You know my mom worked. She was a single mom, and so you know all she knows is work. You know the work mentality, survival mode, take care of myself and my brothers, and so for me, I believe that God just planted that seed. I was kind of born with that.
Speaker 2:For me, I've always been different from people within my age group. I always kind of a loner. I always did my own thing. I always did what I felt like was right for me. I never was in the crowds or had clits. I was one of those people. I could talk to anybody. I could be cool or friends with anybody. That was just always my personality throughout school, and so I believe I was already set up for that. So there was this feeling I had that I was just different. That God has. I didn't realize inside that older and understood what that was right. But it's because God has greater things over my life. He has the greater calling over my life, and so that's why I always stray from the crowd, because I'm destined to do greater things and so I can't do what other people are doing. I can't be out partying every weekend. I can't be doing this because that's not the purpose. That's over my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is good, stephanie, and I can certainly relate to some of the things that you're saying. I think that to be an entrepreneur, you sort of have to be a little bit different, right? Like you can't just always go along with the mainstream and be a conformist with these. You've got to stand out and you got to be willing to take risk, and with risk comes victory and successes. But it also comes pain and hardship too, right?
Speaker 1:So I think that, yeah, you having some of that being in a single home family or in a single parent family and having to take some of that on and then watching your mom do the things that she did, but also I think we learn a lot as young kids, and so I really love what you said to all of that. So thank you for sharing that. So let's talk a little bit about your book, because this is, I don't know when you wrote this. So tell us a little bit about when this was written and maybe a little bit about, I mean, it's obviously we know what it's about, but maybe give us some details about what you're trying to do with that and kind of the message with that.
Speaker 2:So I published it June of 2021. So I just celebrated my two year anniversary and it was one of those things. I had the title years ago, probably like 2015, 2016, because I remember networking with this girl, with this lady, and we were talking and I said I'm gonna write a book, it's gonna be called Fatherless Success, but at that time that's all I had. I just wasn't, it wasn't ready yet, right, god didn't say move forward. So, anyways, time rose by fast forward to 2019, 2020. It was kind of put back in my spirit and so I was like, okay, it's like God was telling me it's time to write this book, and for me it was about sharing my journey, my experiences growing up without a father, how that affected me emotionally, and then being able to share my healing journey, all of the things I had to heal from that started from the fatherlessness, and then just being able to inspire your other people, whether it's women, men, youth and let them know hey, success isn't defined one way.
Speaker 2:That's up to you, but you do not have to allow your childhood or your obstacles or the hardships. Define who you want to be. Take control of your life by forgiving number one, forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Don't hold on to that, because when we hold on to that and we don't oh, I can never forgive this person for this or that you're giving them power over your life. And they have moved on and you're stuck and you're trying to figure out.
Speaker 2:Why do I keep going in and out of relationships and friendships and can't find my way in the workplace? Why do I have this toxic behavior, right, or these toxic patterns? And it's because you're holding onto things and you haven't forgiven yourself and other people who may have caused any type of harm to you or deceit. And so that's really why I wanted to do it to be able just to inspire your other people. Let them know, hey, cause the tests that say there's 15 million people in the United States who grew up in a single parent home, and so 80% of those are led by mothers, and so I just want to let them know you have a support system, you are not alone. I know what it feels like, so let me give you the tools that I use so that you can heal properly and in a healthy manner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is good, stephanie. Two things I want to commend you on that, because I think that being able to be on the other side, I think healing is a process. Right when I think our journey, our entire life, our existence, really we're learning continuously. Right, and it's not to say that none of these painful moments ever come up in surface for us. Right, when you have pain in your life, whatever it is. But I think that the beauty of this is when you can come on the other side and you've learned strategies to get through that healing process. Like to get through and be able to navigate in this world, and so thank you for sharing that, because I think that is so powerful and I want to commend you on that. But the other thing I want to mention too that I really liked that you addressed was the forgiveness part, because I think that is so instrumental in healing so many times people when they go through cause.
Speaker 1:I work with clients too, and a lot of things I talk about is baggage, right, baggage, and it could be something so minute, but to them it's huge. I think our pain and the things we go through are all relative to the individual. Right, like we can't compare ourselves because we haven't walked in somebody's shoes. But whatever pain that is, that stuff manifests and you mentioned it. It manifests very differently in the different areas of our lives. So it'll show up in our relationships, in our work. It just shows up in various ways and a lot of times people don't even recognize it.
Speaker 1:So I commend you for recognizing that this stuff was affecting you, because look at all the great things you've done with your you know, just in your business and in your life and the lives you're changing, because you made that awareness right, that self-awareness. Because people go through life, they're a whole existence, plain victim, right. Like they latch on to something and they hang onto it and they never move past it and they say this happened to me and because this happened to me, I can't do anything. And really they're the ones that suffer. And if they would just learn to forgive the perpetrator, the person that they feel did the wrong to them and themselves, they can move and they can do the great things that they wanna do.
Speaker 2:And I feel like a lot of times, people wanna blame somebody else because they don't wanna be here, they don't want her to self-accountable. Oh well, that happened to me because he did this or she did this or this. Okay, things are always gonna happen. But until you start putting yourself accountable, you're not gonna get past it, you're not gonna prosper, you're not gonna elevate, you're not gonna grow, you're not gonna be able to make to the next level.
Speaker 2:Even for me, you know, in any situation, I tell myself, hey, I recount what happened in that relationship or situation and I'm like, look, if I strongly felt like I played a part, or even if I was unaware of a part I played, I say you know what? Maybe I may, you know, maybe I triggered this person or maybe. If something happened, however, I'm not gonna be responsible for their actions. So if I triggered you and you start yelling and cussing at me, I apologize if I triggered you. But now there's another issue, because now you just disrespecting me and that's the boundary for me, right? So it's like I gotta cut you off and it's not for me.
Speaker 2:It's never just like a one-time thing. If you do something like two or three times and like, okay, that's probably just who you are. Right, damn Right. You understand that that's probably who you are. This isn't just a one-off situation, so this is why I draw my boundary, because my peace and my boundaries are more important to me. So I'm not gonna appease you by allowing you to do this because you haven't dealt with your traumas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you, Stephanie, totally. I got you. I was just laughing at that, because I'm kind of that way too. I have this like three strike rule. I'm like one time I'm okay, two times, third time, we're done. We're just done. I can't do it anymore. Like my piece is important.
Speaker 2:Exactly exactly.
Speaker 1:But you also touched upon which I think is really good you know, the whole idea of controlling your actions, because we can't really control our emotions, right, like whatever we feel we feel, right. But we can control our behavior and our reaction to the emotions. And that's where I think that self-awareness comes in. That emotional IQ, right, the intelligence, all that stuff, eq I guess that's what we want. Emotional EQ, right. We want to be able to control how we behave. So all we can do as human beings is respond for our behavior. We can say apologize for what we do to somebody, but we can no longer at that point assume responsibility for somebody who acts a certain way based on their emotions. They have to take their own responsibilities.
Speaker 2:So I'm with you on that, so thank you for sharing that, of course.
Speaker 1:Of course, I would say like okay, stephanie, so what have you learned in all of this journey? It sounds like you've had such an amazing time. I mean, you've been doing so much mentoring and I think I didn't even touch upon all the different things you've done. I mean, you're with the big brothers and sisters, am I correct? You've got a lot of really cool things going on, a lot of mentorship going on, so I love what you've got happening on this. So what would you say is maybe, like I know, you've already said a bunch of stuff, so this is just going to be an addendum to what you've said what do you feel like has been a big takeaway in all of this for you? Like, what have you learned through all of this?
Speaker 2:For me, I have learned acceptance, I have learned grace and I am learning more patience, and it's just being able, number one, to accept where you are in that season. A lot of times we get caught up. For instance, I had knee surgery last year. I was a runner. That was a part of my cardio routine and it works well for my body type. It just keeps me lean, and so I have to do high-intensity cardio. But when I had knee surgery I no longer could do that. Now I have to do low-impact cardio, and so it was like in a huge adjustment I went through a dark place because I was used to doing this.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to adjust to this, and so for me, acceptance was key, because it was like, stephanie, you had to have this surgery because I couldn't run before I had the surgery because my knee kept getting inflamed, so I had to do it. So a lot of times we get hung up on who we were and where we were. I remember when I was here five years ago, or I remember when I was here last year and then this happened. So for me, it's accepting where I am and so, hey, maybe I can't run, but guess what, I can still go to the gym and I can still do the stationary bike, I can do the treadmill, I can do other low-pack cardio things in my workout and my routine, and so now you know I'm at a peace of mind with that part of my space in my life, and so acceptance is just being able to accept where you are in that season. Every season is going to be different. You know. We're going to put on weight, we're going to lose loved ones, we're going to go through financial hardships, different things we're going to go through. But the biggest thing you can do is learn how to accept where you are and don't get so hung up on where you were, because where you are, you're there for a reason. God put you there for a reason, because I like to say that right now I'm in my incubator stage and you know when you put something in an incubator, that's when it has to grow and all these things right, and so that's where I feel I am. You know I feel like, or you know, when a child is born, they have to put them in an incubator because they had certain issues, but once they isolate them and put them in the incubator, those issues go away and now you know they go back to being healthy. And so I feel like I'm in that period of my life because it's like figuring out where I need to be and how I need to get there and what I need to redo and what I need to undo all those things. So I feel like I'm in that space where God is just saying I'm preparing you for something, but right now I need you right here, being still being patient, being obedient, so that I can get you to the next level, because I have to make sure you're prepared for what I'm taking you. And until I feel like you're prepared, I got to keep you here.
Speaker 2:And sometimes that can make us feel stagnant or it makes us feel like, oh, I'm not doing enough, because I'm one of those people, that's just. I'm a thinker, so when I stay busy, that helps me not be so caught up in my head and my thoughts and my emotions. And so when he, I'm going to say, was made, when he kind of sat me down, was like I need you to be still for a moment. That was a second hard thing I had to do, and so during that time it's like I learned how to be more graceful, and that's given myself grace on my journey and also given other people grace, because I have a way that I do things right.
Speaker 2:Other people do things differently, and I know that, and sometimes it can be irritating or frustrating when people do things that they don't know, do things that you feel like are not up to par for you, right. But then you got to come back down to hey, we're different people, so let me learn how to give these people grace. Now, that doesn't mean you're going to be late for a meeting three times on me and I'm still. You know, I'm saying it's so, it's not. I'm like I tell people I'm not God, I don't have unlimited grace, but, you know, because you know, we still have to make the best of our time. But that means like, hey, this happened, this happened a couple of times. Okay, let me give this person grace. Let me not bash that person or badger them, you know, or make them feel less than just because something happened beyond their control. And so that's just why I'm in this space. I am of acceptance and grace and just being more patient with the process.
Speaker 1:I think that's good, stephanie, and I do think that, allowing the grace, I mean it does, because, especially if you're working with other people, like we're talking about right and we know how, we have a certain way that we want to do things and not everybody does things. They don't process information the same way, they don't move the same way right away and we and it's hard sometimes, especially if it's important that you get things done the way you want them to get done. But I will tell you, I had a gal come on my show a while back. She had had a traumatic brain injury and she wrote a book about it and how she was healing.
Speaker 1:And one of the things we were talking about was this whole accepting where you are. And I'm also a runner, so I still do run. I probably not near as fast as you were and as good as you, but I've run some marathons and stuff and I still do. And oh, and I tell you, stephanie, I just heard, every time I get out there I'm like why am I doing this? It just hurts, right, but it's such an efficient way to burn calories and get an exercise in, you know.
Speaker 1:But one of the things we talked about on that particular episode was that same thing that you were talking about, where we go back and we're like, ok, this is how I used to be, and recognizing that we're not going to be that way anymore, and accepting where we are now and the limitations we have, but also the beauty and the things that we can do, the other things that we can be able to still engage in, and all of that. So it's all really about perspective, you know, at the end of the day, and so I think you know that's the good, that's having the right mindset right, the right space to carry that and say you know, things aren't perfect, but this is where I'm at and I'm going to accept where I'm at and I'm going to make the best of the situation and use the gifts I have to move forward.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. So you know I've been working out four days a week. I do 40 minutes of cardio, so I'm on a stationary bike, the other I do like the incline on the treadmill and you know I feel good. Maybe I may not be getting to the end result or where I want to fast, but as I remain consistent, I'm seeing results, so that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 1:That's what you want. That's what it's all about. Stay healthy. I love it, Stephanie, Love it. So one final question I want to ask you for say some budding entrepreneur. You said a lot of really good stuff. So if they I think if they listen to this whole episode, they're going to get a lot of advice. But I do want to give you one more chance to say something, because I think you probably have something else Any last minute advice you would give to maybe a starting entrepreneur that's kind of on the. You know, maybe they have a new idea that they're coming to they want to bring to fruition, or maybe they're kind of in that place where they're incubating, like you, and they're ready to other than we talked about giving grace and being patient, but maybe anything else you want to add to that?
Speaker 2:Outside of that, you know, honestly, networking is very important, networking and then following up with those contacts. I tell people building relationships is so important because some spaces that I've been in, some things I've been able to do, I would not have been able to do it. You cannot do anything by yourself and I know sometimes you know when you just starting out there are a lot of things you have to do by yourself. But being in spaces where you're networking and you're building, don't just go out and go to 10 different networking events a month and you never have time to follow up. Just make sure you have some type of plan. So then, once you network, you follow up with those people and start honing those relationships. And people have to remember that a lot of times the first two to three to five years you're not going to be making money in your business Most businesses don't. But as long as you're planning those seeds right and you're taking care of what you need to and land that foundation, it's going to come back and although it may be oh man, this is taking so long because I even tell myself that I have put in so much effort, I have put in so much work and it's like where am I going? That's how I feel sometimes.
Speaker 2:But then, you know, I see the fruits of my labor in other ways. People may send me a text or message me on social media, like I read your book. Or, you know, ladies come to the ladies networking events and like, oh, this was so powerful and thank you for doing this. And you know, those are the small things that keep me going. Or maybe somebody or a friend or somebody in my network may just randomly reach out and be like thank you, stephanie, for doing this for me. Or, you know, just giving me compliments, you know, just to let me know like, hey, you are on the right track.
Speaker 2:I feel like sometimes that's God speaking through them, because a lot of times people don't even know when I be going through stuff. So it's like God sends them to say, hey, keep going, you got this, but get your stuff in order, do it properly, and you know where you start out is not going to be where you finish, but there are a few free services and things that you can do and people you can utilize in your network that can help you get started and take, you know, being able to take the right step. So one thing that I received from this one event I went to was operate where you want to be, not out of your pocket. So when you do that, then you start moving differently. You know, so I may look like I'm a million dollar brand even though I haven't made it there yet, right, but when you operate in that way, you attract people who want to work with you. So that's the biggest advice I can give.
Speaker 1:That's good. I think networking is important. I would agree with you on that, because it's one of the things I would suggest to. I would say, if you're stuck, you probably need to talk to somebody, and so that's where that networking comes into place. So thank you for all of that, Stephanie. It was incredible Good stuff, Lots of nuggets of wisdom here. So if our audience would like to follow up with you, maybe they want to catch your book or they want to see what you know things you've got going on in the community. Where you're plugging in all of that stuff, where would you like us to send them?
Speaker 2:They can pretty much go visit all of my platforms is the Authentic Stephanie Sterling. Accept it talk is the authentic SS. And then I have my website, wwwtheauthenticsteffanisterlingcom, and there they can go to subscribe and it has all my products shirts, books, anything I have going on, and they can. They can also subscribe to the website to stay up to date and in the know is what I like to call it Staying in the know with Stephanie about any events, new services, all of that.
Speaker 1:All right, good Stephanie. Well, I love what you're doing and I just want to say thank you so much for coming on here and sharing with our audience and continue inspiring and doing all those great things that you're doing. I know you're making a difference, so thank you for doing all that.
Speaker 2:Thank you, jennifer, and I wish you well in your endeavors and you continue to help build our entrepreneur space in our world so that we can get more exposure to anything.
Speaker 1:I can do to help you.
Speaker 2:Please let me know.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. So, of course, we do want to say to our audience if you do enjoy the show, of course, go give us a rating over on Apple, check us out on YouTube, hit that subscribe button. And, as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start, and every start begins with a decision. You guys, take care, be safe, be kind to one another. We will see you next time.
